The Annoying Show
by saphire2moon
Summary: The 5 best ways to annoy the Mugiwara crew. I'm your host, along with my costar Zoro in giving tips to annoy the best. RxR Folks!Updated!
1. Number 5

Sapire2moon:Alright, a composed list of things to annoy The Mugiwara Pirates by, made by me!

Zoro: It's you again!

Saphire2moon: Oh hi Zoro! Wanna help me host the most annoying list!! (pleads and hugs)

Zoro: Fine, as long as I can say anything I want.

Saphire2moon: Of course my green headed friend! (Fangirl) Alright we will start from number 5!

_#5: Steal Sanji's good cooking wine, then deny that you took it._

"_Hey, where's the wine?" Sanji glances around. "I had it right here a second ago." _

_Saphire2moon walks in carrying wine. "What's up Sanji?" _

"_I'm missing my… there it is!" Points at wine bottle._

"_There what is Sanji?" Gives him confused look._

"_Don't play inncent with me! You stole my wine!"_

"_I have no idea what your talking about Sanji." Starts to walk out the door._

"_Wait! I'm talking about the wine that's in your hands right now."_

"_Sanji, are you feeling alright. You're making no sense. Maybe you should get out of the kitchen for a while." Pats his head._

_Stutters, "I…I need.." Zoro walks in._

_Saphire2moon stands at attention. "Oh, Zoro there you are! Here hold this for me!"_

"_Huh? Why did you give me this?" Saphire2moon pats head and walks out._

_Sanji looks pissed, Zoro confused._

Saphire2moon: There you have it folks! One reason Sanji is such a fun guy to annoy.

Zoro: Oh! So that's why you handed me the wine. It was to piss off the Ero-Cook. (grins evilly) Well, I like you even more.

Saphire2moon:Thnx! Alright stay tuned for number 4 in our annoying list count down.

(Sanji enters) Hey! It's you again! Give me back my wine!! (Chases after Saphire and Zoro with spatula)

Saphire: Oops! Read and Review folks! (grabs Zoro and runs)


	2. Number 4

Saphire2moon: Welcome back everybody! It's time for another episode of The Annoying Show, where I and my costar count off the 5 best ways to annoy the Mugiwara Pirates.

Zoro: (Wakes up) Huh? Are we doing something important now?

Saphire2moon: I want all the One Piece fans to say hello to my costar, and my most favorite character, Zoro!

Zoro: Oh yeah, hi.

Saphire2moon: Although Zoro is my co-host, he may not want to be here for the number 4 clip.

Zoro: What a second, what do you mean, girlie?

Saphire2moon: Okay, folks! Here's number 4!

_#4: Change Zoro's weights while he's training and stand as a witness._

"_One thousand-twenty-eight, (Huff) One thousand-twenty-nine." Zoro drops weights._

_Saphire2moon walks up. "Hey, marimo-head. Watcha doin?"_

_Zoro glares at her. "How many times do I have to tell you not to call me that?"_

"_At least once more marimo-head. You didn't answer my question."_

_Zoro sighs and sits down. "Training."_

"_Oh….Watcha doin now?"_

"_Sleeping." Dozes off on deck. Saphire2moon proceeds to take off three hundred pounds of weights._

_Later_

"_Hey, is it just me or did my weights get lighter."_

_Saphire2moon enters stage right._

"_Probably just you." Zoro glares at her._

"_What did you do to my weights, girl?"_

"_I have no idea what you're talking about."_

"_You were the only one here while I slept." Saphire2moon shrugs._

"_I honestly don't know what you're talking about moss-head, but if I were you, which I'm not, I would ask the rest of the crew first before you accuse an innocent girl of fixing your weights. I mean it could have _

_been Luffy, or Nami, or Ussop, or Chopper, or Robin, though I doubt it, and god only knows if it was Sanji. He, after all would have the greatest motive." _

_Zoro gives Saphire2moon a confused stare. Shakes it off._

"_Just answer me straight, woman! Did you take my weights or not?!"_

_They stare at each other for a while._

"_Yeah I did." Saphire2moon walks off, leaving a flustered and seriously pissed off Zoro._

Saphire2moon: So there you have it folks! It's all in the acting and brain power.

Zoro: Hey! I still owe you big time for that one woman! (pulls out Wado)

Saphire2moon: Oops! See I told you you wouldn't like today's clip! (Jumps up and runs)

Zoro: Oh no, your not getting away till we settle this! (Runs after)

Saphire2moon: When I finally calm him down will continue with number 3! Read and Review folks!

Zoro: YOU ARE SO IN TROUBLE NOW!!

To be Continued…


	3. Number 3

Saphire2moon: Hey fellow Fanfic Readers! I'm back and still living, well barely. Anyway, it's time for another episode of The Annoying Show.

Zoro: I won't forgive you. That gave me a headache. Especially when you confused me.

Saphire2moon: I'm sorry, please forgive me! Hey, I know! Watch the number 3 clip and you'll probably feel better in no time.

Zoro: Well, (Thinks it over)Fine! But no more pranks on me, got it!

Saphire2moon: Yeah, I'll leave that to sanjifanforever!

Zoro: (cowers in fear)

Saphire2moon: Alright time to move on to the next clip! Number 3!!

_#3 Give a fake gem to Nami, tell her it's real, then have Robin confirm otherwise._

"_Wow!" Nami leaps at diamond._

"_Yeah, I know." Saphire2moon hands diamond over._

"_It's yours. I have no use for it." Walks out, leaving mesmerized Nami behind._

_Two minutes later_

"_WHAT!! What do you mean it's not real?!" Nami grabs Robin by collar._

_Robin pats head. "Sorry Navigator-san, it's fake."_

_Nami cries. "But, it has to be real! Saphire2moon said…" It dawns on her._

"_SHE IS SO DEAD!" Rushes up to Saphire2moon._

"_You gave me a fake gem!" Saphire2moon blocks attack._

"_Actually Nami, I never said it was real. I simply showed it to you and handed it over. Not once did I mention real or worth a fortune." Saphire2moon shrugs._

_Leaves a flustered and bitterly angry Nami._

Saphire2moon: There you go folks! As you may have noticed, I have a knack for confusing the Mugiwara Pirates!

Zoro: Wow. I wondered what happened to Nami that day. Your right that did make me feel better.

Saphire2moon: Told ya so! Keep that in mind when we view the number 2 clip.

(Nami enters)You again! Sanji told me you were back! I want the real gem!

Saphire2moon: Oops! (Again) Sorry folks! Until I get this straightened out, you'll just have to wait for the next episode. Read and Review! (Takes out piggy bank)


	4. Number 2

Saphire2moon: Hello my fellow One Piece Fans!! I thank you again for joining me and my costar for another entertaining episode of the Annoying Show!

Zoro: (snores)

Saphire2moon: Hey Zoro! Wake up! (Kicks)Don't make me get sanjifanforever!

Zoro: (Miraculously wakes up) I'm up!

Saphire2moon: Good! I just want to take the time and thank sanjifanforever, SpanishPirate, and LuffyxRuby for thinking I'm funny and you will all get the prize of one day to annoy Zoro!

Zoro: Wait! What!!

Saphire2moon: Oops! Sorry, he's mine, but I will give you props! Okay! Now we continue on with the number 2 clip in the countdown. I hope you enjoy it!

Zoro: Wait a second! What do you mean I'm yours!

_#2 Tempt Luffy with a piece of meat. Need I say more!_

"_Oh Captain-san! I have something for you!" Saphire2moon enters with steak._

"_Oh! Oh! For me!?" Luffy reaches for meat._

"_Yes it is Luffy, but you have to reach for it." Puts meat as high up in the air as possible._

"_Yosh! No problem." Stretches arm. Saphire2moon removes from his grasp. _

"_Ah! Saphire2moon, that's mean!" Tries again. Again fails._

"_I said you have to reach for it." _

_Twenty minutes later_

"_Come on Saphire2moon! MEAT!!" Unsuccessfully tries to grab meat._

"_Are you mad at me Luffy?" Luffy looks confused._

"_Huh?" _

"_Are you annoyed that I won't give you the meat?" Luffy puffs cheeks._

"_Yes!" _

"_Okay." Saphire2moon hands over meat. Luffy confused._

"_Huh?" _

"_Silly, I gave you the meat, now eat it." Leaves behind mildly confused Luffy_.

Saphire2moon: Alright, that one wasn't the best clip ever, but the last one will be the bomb. And I'll give you a hint. (Whispers) It's for all the Zoro and Sanji fan girls!

Zoro: Did you say my name?"

Saphire2moon: Of course not! Why would you think that?

Zoro: (Suspicious) Okay, if you say so.

Saphire2moon: Anyway, the final clip shouldn't take to long for me to fini- (Luffy enters)

Luffy: Oh, it is you! Did you bring me meat!?

Saphire2moon: Oh! (Pulls out meat) Sorry folks may take longer than planned. Catch you later!

Zoro: Hey Luffy, don't hog all the meat.

Saphire2moon: We'll share. (Waves goodbye)

To Be Continued…


	5. Number 1

Saphire2moon: Hi-ho folks! I'm back! And it's time for the long awaited finale of the Annoying Show! Number 1 goes out to all the Zoro and Sanji fangirls.

Zoro: Wait! I thought we agreed not to bug me anymore.

Saphire2moon: I don't remember agreeing to that. Anyway, this clip includes stealing, tricking, and lots of goody fun stuff!

Zoro: But what does that have to do with me and the Ero-cook? I'm really getting suspicious. I can't remember anything like that happenening.

Saphire2moon: Just watch silly! Alright, time for the final clip number 1. Enjoy!!

_#1 Trick Zoro and Sanji by taking their most prized possessions._

_Saphire2moon enters holding three swords in one hand and a set of cooking knives in the other._

_Zoro and Sanji walk in after her._

"_I swear woman, if you don't give me back my swords you'll end up a gooey mess on the floor."_

"_Give me back my knives; I need them for dinner tonight."_

_Saphire2moon turns to them._

"_I'll give your items back, if you do something for me."_

_They think. Nod in agreement._

"_Okay, first Zoro. Take off your shirt and sit cross legged on the ground."_

"_Huh?!" _

"_Just do it already, and you'll get your swords back."_

_Zoro grumbles, but complies._

"_Next Sanji, take off your shoes and jacket and sit down the same way."_

_Sanji discards items and sits down._

_Saphire2moon grabs items and lays them in a pile. _

"_Alright! Now for your fans Sanji, wear these."_

_Pulls out yellow sunglasses._

"_And use this."_

_Hands over cigarette._

"_Why do I have to do that?"_

"_You'll see."_

_Walks over to Zoro._

"_Okay, your turn. Take this and wear this on your head."_

_Gives Zoro goggles from Skypiea and his bandana._

"_I still don't understand why your making us does this. And what did you mean by Sanji's fans. I'm surprised anybody actually likes him."_

"_Take that back marimo-head!" Stands up, gets in fighting position._

"_Make me love cook!" Also gets in fighting position._

_Saphire2moon turns toward audience._

"_And this is for all you fangirls out there! If you can't see this, then picture it in your mind. You'll giggle your butt off."_

_Turns to offstage. Whistles._

"_Alright girls, they're yours for the taking."_

_Sanji and Zoro stop fighting._

"_Huh?!"_

_Thousands of screaming fangirls start chasing after them._

"_I would run if I were you boys."_

_Guys start running as fast as they can._

"_Good luck." Saphire2moon waves and, taking the forgotten swords and knives, leaves the two men to their deaths._

Saphire2moon: That's it folks! I hope you enjoyed my show! That last one was so fun to watch from my point of view.

Zoro: Yeah! But I was the one running my butt off.

Saphire2moon: Oh don't be a stick in the mud. You should be happy you have so many adoring fans. And thanks to Sanji, you both got out alive.

Zoro: Yeah! Barely!

Saphire2moon: Anyway, I had a lot of fun showing you folks the 5 ways to annoy the Mugiwara crew. I know I missed Ussop, Chopper, and Robin, but seriously Ussop isn't really that fun to annoy, Chopper starts crying, and I have no idea how to annoy Robin.

Zoro: Oh so the rest of us have to deal with your stupid antics.

(Zoro, Sanji, Nami, and Luffy start to converge on Saphire2moon.)

Saphire2moon: Alright, I guess some of those were a little bit harsh. But I made your fans laugh.

(Starts running for her life) Okay folks! I guess this is it for the Annoying Show! I hope you enjoyed it a lot! Read and Review! Bye!!

All: Get back here!! (Chase off into the sunset)

Fin


End file.
